So what am I anyway?

I have been a musician most of my life and there was a period when all I wanted in the world was to be a professional Christian artist.  As I got older I lost touch with that desire. I did not, however, put down my instrument, a guitar by the way. I led worship for my various youth groups but deep down leading worship did not satisfy that “God calling” burning in my heart.

When I took my first church as a youth pastor, it was quickly recognized that I could help update the church’s worship style with my experience, and soon found myself as the Youth AND Worship Pastor. It wasn’t long and I began to be asked why I didn’t just focus on music. I was told repeatedly by numerous individuals that I possessed a unique talent for worship leading. There was a problem though…..I didn’t feel the way they perceived me. What really got me going was teaching, hanging out with, befriending , counseling and mentoring teens, still does BTW.  But people didn’t understand.  I can remember an associate  pastor getting angry with me because I refused to admit that I was called to be a full time worship leader, and he confused me.

Let’s set the record straight. My voice is average at best, I play rhythm guitar and do nothing special or spectacular with it, just basic chords and I don’t have a really dramatic flair when I sing or play. Usually I just stand with my eyes fixed on the sheet music or chord charts or with my eyes closed. So where was all this laud for being a “talented” worship leader coming from? What made me so special in other people’s eyes?

I recently was encouraged by studying the life of David. Here was a man who was as talented a musician as ever was. He wrote beautiful  songs to the Lord and played beautifully, so much so even the king wanted him to play for himself.  But despite all that God had called David to be something else, KING.  But what made David so great in his worship? What was that spark? The answers for him and for me are the same. PASSION!!

What people see on stage is not me trying to lead them to worship. I don’t “create” a worship experience. Once we get the technicals down with the band and I stand on stage I don’t worry if people are following or not. See the thing that I believe get people is that when I get up and sing or play I am truly worshiping. I am totally and hopelessly fixed on GOD my GOD, Lord, SAVIOR, and Friend. The passion the burns within, the love that is kindle inside my heart overflows. It is genuine. Same for David, he was so hopelessly in love with God he couldn’t stand it. His love exploded from his heart and no matter what his calling was or what he was doing he recognized that his GOD deserved his praise.  To that I say ditto.

It isn’t me “leading” people to worship it is people following me to God and recognizing the same thing that I do.  Should it not be that way in every Christians life?

Let me know what you think


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