Posts Tagged With: relationships

Please Don’t Ask What I DO

I’m just putting this out there…..


I HATE when people ask what I do.

It might be at a coffee shop, or the hair cut place, or a salesperson, or a parent at my kids school.


They always ask!


And I HATE answering.


It isn’t because I am ashamed of what I do (I’m not proud of it either but that is for another post) because I’m not. It is because of the inevitability of the reaction on the part of the person who asked the question when I answer “I’m a Youth Pastor”.


It is always “Oh”


Sometimes “Oh” is followed by a smile and a polite gesture of a compliment about my life’s calling and sometime the “Oh” is followed by a subtle (or not so subtle) groan. Sometimes it is the last word that person ever speaks to me….


But worse than the verbal reaction is the non verbal reaction and that is why I hate answering the question. In the micro second it takes for the person to process the word pastor (and usually the youth part isn’t even acknowledged) everything about the interaction I am having with that person changes. They become defensive, illusive, private and standoffish.  There is something very unnerving about quietly having my motives for EVERYTHING questioned. Suddenly I am the enemy. Either I am trying to corral them into a gospel presentation or I just want their money or I am looking to condemn them for their sins.

You know what I hate about it most?


I lose the chance to know them. Who they really are, what they are really like and what they struggle with. They hide it all.


It’s not their fault though….


It’s ours….and by ours I mean the Church.


Jesus loved people and desired to KNOW people and to lead people to His Father.


Sometimes the church treats people like a herd of cattle. We just want to tag them and let the world know they belong to God and move along to the next herd.


So please, let’s change this


Or at least just stop asking me what I do!



Categories: Humor, Life, Ministry, Philosophy, Religion | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

It is NOT about Relationships

At least not just ANY relationship.  We can develop relationships all day long but if as Christians we are not modeling our relationship building after Christ then we ARE going to FAIL!

We see in Matt 9, Mark 2, Luke 5 and 19 the types of relationships Jesus invested in, relationships with people who were hurting, broken and condemned by society.  We spend WAY too much time developing the wrong relationships with the wrong people for the wrong motives. Here are some examples.

1. Developing a relationship to gain financial support

2. Developing a relationship to gain power and control

3. Developing a relationship for personal glory and praise

4. Developing a relationship simply for personal friendship

While these types of relationships are not “evil” they are not what we are given by Christ as a model.

This is essential to pastors and ministers to understand and even more essential for the laity to understand and support their pastors in through allowing them to exercise their calling but also in rolling up their sleeves and joining in reaching out to those broken people Adam Mclane posted on His blog today that he was “not satisfied with reaching 5-10% of the population” and I agree. For far to long we have allowed churches to be community/family clubhouses and have forgotten the world outside.

Tomorrow I will talk about the types of relationships I am building in Youth Ministry and how I believe they are foundational in any youth ministry trying to reach hurting teens in their community.

Categories: Everyday Thoughts, Ministry, Religion | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

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